Host Kiss: America and Reader:

It was a dark day in history for some people, the last bit of happiness being taken from their lives after the incident.  You just shrugged it off only feeling a bit disappointed about it and not realizing until you got home how this would affect you.

You knew Alfred would be slightly affected by the turn of events, but not so much that when you got home you wouldn’t see him sitting on the couch with a loose tie, hunched over a video game control while the TV reflected off his glasses as he killed who knows what in the game, having either a container of instant macaroni or a warm bag of food from McDonalds by his side.

In fact, there was no sign of Alfred anywhere in your apartment. It was cold, dark, and eerily quiet without the buzz of the TV or Alfred’s snoring if he had a long day at work.

You did your best to walk through the apartment without making a sound, listening for some other sign of life.  It wasn’t until you heard the crinkling of a package and a small sob that you knew Alfred was home and probably in your bedroom.

You dared to push the door open and were instantly greeted by darkness.  The digital clock was unplugged, the curtains were drawn, blocking the grey light from the stormy sky, and the superhero night light that belonged to Alfred was unplugged.  You would have to be careful not to step on it.

“Alfred?” you whispered.  Your answer was a sob and another crinkle of packaging. You blindly searched for the light. “I’m going to turn the light on now.”  You heard the shift of covers as Alfred prepared himself for the blinding light that suddenly filled the room.

You held back a gasp.  The bed was covered in boxes and packages of Hostess products. How did he even get his hands on them? They were being closed down at that very moment. But still there they were, all of them sorted into their own little piles.  

“What in the world is this?” you cried, knowing you would be the one to clean up the crumbs.

“I’m in mourning,” Alfred mumbled from the under the covers, but you had to strain to hear him.  It sounded more like he had a mouth full of food.

He did. You walked over and pushed some boxes out of the way until you found the lump that was your husband.  Flinging back the covers, you groaned when you found him lying in his red and white pajamas with little Twinkies on the pants and stuffing his face with powdered and chocolate Donettes.

You rested your hands on your hips, “Where did you get all of this?”

He stuffed a powdered donut in his mouth, “I went to the supermarket this morning.”

You sighed and rubbed your temples.  You would had never imagined yourself in this kind of situation, trying to talk to your husband about his never satisfied sweet tooth as he lay in bed, stuffing his face with store bought pastries.

“You’re going to get a tummy ache,” you said.

For a moment Alfred stopped chewing, but then reached over the side of the bed and picked up a box of Ho Hos and ripped it open. “It’ll be the last tummy ache I get from Hostess,” he said with a sniffle.

For some reason the sniffle sounded sincere and he sounded truly upset. You knelt down beside him and ran a hand through his sandy blonde hair. “Did you save any for me?” you asked.

He looked up from his food and smiled his bright blue eyes shinny. “Of course,” he said, before he started to clear a space for you on the bed.

You were a bit hesitant about eating something on your bed.  Just picturing the crumbs that would hide in the sheets made your shudder, but you joined him none the less, grabbing a box of Twinkies and settling down beside him.

“We won’t run out bread for a while,” you mumbled through a mouthful of sponge cake, motioning to the pile of Nature’s Pride and Wonder Bread.

Alfred remained silent for a moment and you turned to him.  He was examining a Cupcake that was oozing filling all over his hand. “Our kids will never be able to taste these,” he said.

You didn’t know if that was supposed to make you laugh, but it struck you more as profound. If you ever had kids they would never understand what growing up eating Twinkies was like, what good bread tasted like, or realize how disgusting Sno Balls actually were.

Alfred had actually unwrapped a Sno Ball himself and bit into it, sucking all of the marshmallow out before he stuffed the cake and coconut part into his mouth.  

“What happens when they read a book and it mentions Twinkies?” you asked, actually serious about this and slightly concerned.

Alfred scrunched his eyebrows and frowned, “I don’t know…”he said.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment and munched on the fatty foods, for once appreciating the softness of the cake and the filling inside.  You actually had a few good memories eating Hostess and felt a bit sad that it was all going away.

“We should save some Twinkies, they last forever right?” he said.

You shook your head, “They only last for about six months if you put them in the freezer, but we should keep some.” You leaned over and took a bite out of one of the donuts Alfred was eating, “but we should keep some if I get cravings.”

Alfred’s mouth hung open and he dropped the donut, the entire Hostess discussion abandoned, “You’re pregnant?”

You gave him a sly smile, “Not yet…..” you paused as you leaned forward to give him a kiss, “But I might get hungry while you clean all of this up and take the covers to the laundry mat.” With that, you grabbed a box of Twinkies and rolled off the bed, “And pick up dinner!” you called back, smiling as you heard Alfred scramble to clean everything up.